December 12, 2008
I am listening to the sound of snow removal, Al snoring with CNN in the background, reporting corruption after corruption. The world is falling apart.
Tee is curled up in bed beside Al who is sleeping soundly. For now we are safe, holed up in our hotel room, just outside of Quebec City while we are waiting for the storm to lift. Where to go from here I am not sure? This is a welcomed respite though, even if forced.
I don’t know how much longer we could have handled hiding out in our own home. It has been one hell of a month. We are now fugitives, of what exactly, I’m still trying to figure out? I guess mainly the systems that enslave and enchain us.
And the most difficult one for me right now to understand is my family. They are part of this system, but in the guise of sheep. Sheep in wolves clothing and the most frightening part is that they don’t realize it. They tell themselves they have done this to me because they love me. They are trying to help.
Well I have taken all the “help” I can stand. Their idea of help has led us here. Our resources are quickly dwindling. If we continue on this course we may last until the end of the month and then we’ll be at the mercy of the elements. There are many, many people in the world today that are in similar and much worse circumstances and my family continues to defend this system. So afraid to let go of their so called security that they have joined forces with them.
Imagine having police barging into our apartment for another big threat to the system … me. Coming to take me away, with taser guns in hand.
Through the grace of God, once again I managed to escape another disaster. This would have been Al and my worst nightmare. Trust me if you don’t already know, the mental institution is not your friend. They also come in the guise of sheep. Sheep in wolves clothing. The physicatric industry tells themselves they are doing their jobs to “help” people. I have yet to see anyone involved coming out unscathed. I am sure there must be exceptions but I’m have a difficult time imagining it. Locking up someone, pushing drugs on them, telling you are incapable and taking your rights away, your dignity, and as in my case the ability to handle my own finances, makes it very hard for me to see how blind the general public is to this travesty of human rights.
This institution needs to be exposed. This institution is well protected though by all the other institutions that enslave us, including families who are brain washed and so filled with the drug of advertising that they believe the lies. Most patients are depressed, incapable, disabled, hopeless and also drugged. I have come to learn the truth. I am no longer depressed, incapable, disabled and hopeless or filled with drugs. I am free.
I now have hope despite all the adversity thrown our way. How much worse can the world get before people wake up? I am the only one who can save me. I am hopeful now that these institutions are unravelling so fast that most will finally see just how insane ours society is.
Imagine the banksters are being given trillions and trillions of dollars in order to bail them out and the government has taken away my financial “freedom”. Foreclosure is imminent I have been told. I am wondering how long it will be before the bank begins foreclosure on our home once again. Sometimes I tell myself how ironic this is but insane is more appropriate.
December 13, 2008
Baby its Cold Outside
-19. It is much easier travelling in the summer in Canada. How our plans have changed. We had envisioned ourselves to be in Merida, Mexico by now. Building our dreams; our website and internet café. But fate has brought us here. Both Al and I know that everything happens for a reason. It’s +15 in St. Johns Newfoundland today. St. John’s was to be our first stop in our adventures. We are still heading this way. Maybe we will still get a ship out of here to the second leg of our journey? When Al and I first met we wrote down the places we wanted to travel to.
MAYBE we just don’t have the timing right?
So many unexpected storms have come our way. I must admit we’ve weathered them well and are still able to laugh at our predicaments. When worse comes to worse we tell each other it just adds to our story.
That is our first goal right now. For me to find a place where I can put all the pieces story together and try to get it published. We had initially intended to put it on our website but through our journey we perhaps have stumbled on a more viable opportunity?
After Sergeant McInnis came knocking on our door, with his two colleagues in uniform, and a nurse waiting in the car, Al and I decided it was no longer safe to remain in our own home. During the day any way. We didn’t figure I was a big enough threat that they would come after hours. So during the day, as fate took us, we spent them with new friends we had met. They helped us with our move from our upper apartment into the recently vacated basement apartment. It was initially our goal to fix it up and rent it out furnished. We had plans to make it look like a little jewel. It would have been gorgeous, if I do say so myself. We are both very talented in this area.
Anyway, I have to let go of this dream for now. There are more important ones.
With the rents we would have collected, our dream of Mexico was still possible in the spring. We were intending on living at my parents during the winter while they were in Barbados. Getting a lawyer to look after the injustices I have suffered because of most recent trip to CAMH. Also for me to have the opportunity to gather all my journals together and piece together our story in peace.
But as fate has had it we have been railroaded by all accounts. Primarily by the family who loves me so much. I am not allowed to visit my parent now! I guess they believe I am the cause for all this stress.
Anyway, that is a story for another day. It is too upsetting for me to rehash it right now.
And besides that, our higher power sent us a lot of help along the way. And help always seems to come to us through the most unusual suspects. In this case, Mike, who we met in front of Tee’s favorite store, the LCBO (where we buy our booze). He is a street musician, and was strumming his tunes with his 5 month old Boston terrier puppy, Simon. Simon is adorable and now is one of Tee’s best friends.
Of course, synchronicity seems to always follow this tune. While I was living in the beaches, with Tom and Dave (who have now also deserted me) I often saw Mike singing and playing his guitar in front of the LCBO. He was wearing shorts in the winter so he wasn't someone you would easily forget. When we first met him in High Park I recognized him immediately. Partly because of the shorts, but also because of his huge warm smile.
What a small world too, one side of Mike’s family is also from Cambellton, New Brunswick, his other half Halifax. So there is a very good chance that his family knows mine. Al and I have learnt to trust in synchronicity, messages from our higher power we believe, to tell us we are on the right path. Though sometimes you wouldn’t know it.
Through Mike we met Mark, who was also a Godsend during our move and preparation of leaving our home in tip top condition for our tenants (more disappointment I do not want to get into).
Through Mike and Mark we met Jason and his girlfriend Melissa who live on the same street as we do. They are good people who look after each other and would be considered misfits in our society.
We met Chris, a friend of theirs, who dropped by one evening while we were hiding out. We had one laugh after another about all the absurdities in the world. He is someone who also has seen the system we are immersed in. Anyway to make a long story short, he happens to be best friends with the person who runs Random House and when I told him about my book he told me he would pass the message along. So who knows? Anyway it is a possible option that gives me hope. And in order to go on HOPE and FAITH are needed.
December 14, 2008
Saturday we switched rooms and now have an even nicer room in our little hide way. There is at least three feet of snow out there now. When we arrived a week ago there was none. Al, Tee and I are enjoying our stay here especially because of the food! Jamieson, our ride share driver brought us here from Toronto. He recommended this place, Hotel Bernieres, St. Nicolas, Quebec because it was relatively inexpensive. But the real delight has been the food. All my favourite Quebec style dishes; poutine, hot chicken sandwiches, pizza, spaghetti, big toast and big breakfasts, great soups. All home made and delicious. Al says he has never eaten so well in his life. Tee shakes with anticipation when Al comes back with the tray. He is even eating the peas. We have gained so much weight that they will have to roll us out of here.
This has been a great way to celebrate my 50th birthday. Eat, drink, sleep and be merry. I have slept well here. No worry about who will be knocking on my door, other than room service and we will get caught smuggling in Tee. Anyway they did, and we confessed and Tee ended up getting a very warm reception from all the cleaning crew. His is a real icebreaker.
We are now ready to move on and have some what of a plan.
Next stop Halifax, Nova Scotia, For a number of reasons. First off, the weather we have heard is not so extreme. The cost of living on the east coast is lower than Toronto and neither Al nor I have ever been there before. I keep on opening up magazines or seeing pictures of Peggy’s Cover on TV. This has happened at least ½ a dozen times since we have been here. But the number 1 reason is because when we were packing up for our adventure and deciding where our move should be (after knowing that Montreal was no longer an option) Al asked me if I knew anyone out east. Of course there is my father’s family, but right now that is not an option. Then it dawned on me; Connie and John. They were my next door neighbours for nearly 10 years when I lived in Oakville in my previous life.
The last time I heard from Connie was three years ago. She had sent me a letter, letting me know that were moving back “home”, to Nova Scotia to look after John’s mother and live a simpler life. I was not sure if I still had their address.
As Al is my witness, and so is Tee, this is the truth, I pull out the bag that holds all our contact information, put my hand in and the first thing I pull out is the envelope that contains Connie’s letter and there is their address on the upper right hand side, Chester, Nova Scotia, right next door to Peggy’s Cove. So to us this is a Godwink pointing us in a direction.
We have spent the last couple of days preparing for our trip. The only viable way of getting there is by train. Travelling with a dog is extremely difficult here in Canada.
Via Rail will allow Tee on as long as he has a cage big enough to stand up in and travels in the baggage car. We don’t like the idea of him being caged up for 16 hours but for us this is the only alternative we have. The only one we can possibly afford anyway.
December 17, 2008
BooBoo the Brave
We are so proud of Tee. A.k.a. BooBoo. Our nickname for Tee because Al pictures himself as Yogi and Tee as his trusty side kick, Booboo.
He survived the ordeal of being locked in a cage for 17 hours in the baggage car of Via Rail, destined to travel to Halifax, Nova Scotia.
It was a long two days.
We left Hotel Bernais at approximately 2:30 p.m. Had to make 2 trips inadvertently to the wrong train station because we are now travelling with one huge deluxe dog cage, one small suitcase that contains our cloths, one for our computer equipment and one case that contains all my journals and a rolling case for incidentals.
We were hoping to travel light.
But these are the necessities to us. Also our top of the line Canon camera, our eyes.
We are planning on recording our journey through these eyes. Perhaps we can also use the camera and computer to make a few extra bucks along the way.
We are definitely going to need cash the way we are going through our little stash. This is my biggest concern right now. Every time we turn around there goes another $50. So after our $50 cab ride to the wrong train station, the very helpful ticked attendant points us in the right direction and we take another $50 cab ride into Quebec City where we paid another $50 for one overweight bag (my journals) and the fee for taking Tee.
We spent the rest of the day in the beautiful old train station where Tee was allowed. We were concerned we would have to wander the streets in the drizzling rain and wind. Especially because Al has holes in his boots. But we had a pleasant five hour wait. Bought ourselves a bottle of rum for the wait. (opps just found out we have committed another crime, which is strictly prohited by law as I am now reading).
Comfort class was quiet comfortable. It was a little difficult sleeping sitting up though and also boring as the only place to wander to was the small snack bar that sold very few snacks and no booze. Thank God we smuggled in the bottle of rum. We found out at the end of our journey the only place to get a drink was from the snack cart attendant who came by maybe three times throughout our journey.
Other than the friendly crew we hardly spoke to a soul. For some reason it saddened me. I remember the days when travelling was one big party and lots of fun. Now you have to pay big bucks to get a first class ticket where you are wined and dined.
We were thankful to get here and so proud of our Tee who bared the whole trip with hardly a fuss. The attendants were all impressed on how well he handled his first stay in the baggage car. The first time in his cage to boot, and with only two pee stops along the way.
Our first stop was Cambellton, N.B. where my father grew up. We passed right by the house. His youngest brother still lives there. It wasn’t very enjoyable though because the wind was howling and we were freezing.
I was a little disappointed that the day was so grey. We travelled through some beautiful scenery and it would have been even more awesome if the sun was shining on this beautiful county of ours. I trust it will shine again.
We arrived in Halifax around 5 p.m. and thankfully there was a taxi van outside. Our Russian cab driver took us to a small motel which is not nearly as posh as the Hotel Bernier, but just as expensive.
Halifax seems colourful and lively. Looking at the ocean coast and the bright coloured houses gave me a thrill. We are looking forward to exploring it when weather permits. First though Al needs a new pair of boots and I must find us a place to stay that doesn’t dwindle all our money away.
December 18, 2008
The future looks better with Wall Street???
Really? Sometimes it is exacerbating watching the daily news and seeing the same old bush shit being fed to the general public.
How we are missing the real news.
Al, Tee and I are lounging on our double beds in our little motel room watching CNN. It’s also almost surreal hearing about all the scandals that are being revealed. We knew this time would come but actually seeing the events unfold is a little mind blowing and more so because everyone seems so oblivious.
Every evening since we’ve been here we enjoy our dinner with a couple of cocktails and CNN. Thank you Lou Dobbs. At least you are getting a little of the truth out.
It feels good to get back to my journal. From now on I plan to write every morning as I had done for so many years in the past. These journals have come in handy as sometimes it is even difficult for me to believe everything that has happened in my life.
This also gives me proof and helps me come to grips with my feelings. This was the primary reason I began to write. Pouring your heart on paper is very therapeutic. For me anyway.
I am feeling rusty though. I have left this little pleasure slide and now that I know this book has a purpose I feel intimidated.
Last night Al gave me a pep talk. Write all the details he says. Don’t be afraid to tell the truth and how you are feeling. This has to be a completely honest version of all the events that have enfolded, are enfolding and will enfold.
Ask your higher power for inspiration. If this book is not about spirituality it is not worth writing.
Al and I dance to the same tune. We believe in the same things. I have a partner who is totally in sync with my feelings. To me this is worth more than anything and we also have Tee. He is our greatest gift of all. Tee is our unconditional love. We know he is a special dog.
Al just said to me, as I am writing, Booboo is the best. I laughed and said I was just writing about this. Now if that isn’t in sync I don’t know what is.
Once again yesterday our plans were curtailed by weather. But it was a very good day anyway. I can actually devote all my time to doing what I feel I have to do.
Al is still walking around with boots with holes in the soles.
Yesterday the plan was for me to get to an internet café and check out accommodations. Find Connie and John’s phone number and give them a call to see if they could possibly point us in some direction?
For some reason both Al and I feel Chester will be a good place to rest for a while and for me to be able to piece together our lives in book form. Also we were hoping to find Al a new pair of boots.
We called a taxi early afternoon. The weather once again was very messy but after coming from Quebec City where it snowed buckets, the couple of inches of slushy stuff did not intimidate us. Halifax is not Quebec City though and not as prepared for inclement weather. No wonder Canadians talk about the weather so much. We get enough of it.
So we headed off to Starbucks in downtown Halifax to find out I needed to bring a lap top. But I did get a very delicious sample of hot chocolate with real whip cream on top.
It was a beautiful scene. Standing on a street corner, snow falling, watching the friendly people of Halifax doing Christmas shopping, listening to a musician singing “Oh what a wonderful world.” And at that moment, despite all the adversity, I honestly felt oh what a wonderful world.
Then the snow turned to ice and Tee was shivering and Al’s feet were very wet so it was time to leave. And as I said to Al “you only live this life once”. We decided to treat ourselves to some steak and seafood and buy ourselves a bottle of rum, strawberry cocktail mix and chips. What a treat. Local fresh mussels and the best steak we have had in years.
I am learning how to travel again. My favourite pastime. Stick with what the locals like and you won’t go wrong. And after we all shared this meal Al decided we still didn’t have our full and there was a restaurant nearby that he was longing to check out.
It was a beautiful evening. Finally dry and mild. It felt like spring was in the air. We shared a smoke outside and Al headed out to get us a second dinner.
Al and I have not been out for dinner alone since we got Tee, a year and a half ago. But maybe tonight we are going to be brave and leave Tee in his cage while we go out and have a feast. Perhaps our little world is ready for some expansion? I am not sure when but I am looking forward to it.
And today once again we will try to make plans to leave, fate permitting and also weather.