Friday, January 7, 2011

January 26, 2009 MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

January 26, 2009

Guess what! According to a television advertisement the oil and gas companies are going to save the world.

I am watching CNN. Just saw Obama’s big plan on how to save the world too.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t know so much and could just believe this Obama shit that we are being fed. Wouldn’t it be nice that one person could change the world? Another Obama shit they are trying to push on us.

I see from the polls that not many are falling for it. Thank God.

Today I lost it. Today I was lost and I lost my faith. Today was a very, very difficult day for me.

We are back at the Chebecto Inn. Not that I don’t like it here but it was like going backwards and not forwards. This made me have doubt. Perhaps I am crazy after all. But watching the news confirms to me that there is no doubt about where the insanity really lies. Those liars! The only one who reports the truth is Lou Dobbs. Thank you Lou.

I was desperate today. I have an urge to send an SOS out to the world. We are now down to our last $500. We are stranded here in Halifax, N.S. with now we feel we have only one hope, my friends Connie and John, and I have never felt so much fright in my life. This is what is comes down to. I have continued to follow the messages and am left with one last hope. Honestly, I love Connie and do hope that she can help, and hopefully she will, but I have not seen her for at least five years and we were just good neighbours who helped each other out occasionally. My god, I have a family who basically are the cause of me being here and all I am to hope for is a friend who I haven’t seen in years.

Is this what it comes down to? Today I typed the last of my journals so far into my computer and I knew I could not end my story there, with no one to save us and us needing saving. This is not what my higher power intended. But this is what I asked for and this is what I get; exactly what I asked for. I typed the final page and I was so upset. It can’t just end here, I said to Al. This is not a happy ending. And I have been told the ending was to be happy. I can not save this on disk and drop it over to our new friends. The message of this book is not clear. There is still a lot of work to do.

And I have been grieving and I now am beginning to understand why. My dreams were not going as planned. I am not yet ready for this expose where I will take down psychiatry, pharmaceutical companies, the banksters, the government, and my so called guardians. This is not what I want.

I want to understand how we have gotten so lost. I still don’t have the answers. Perhaps I never will and tonight Al and I are back to the Chebucto Inn.

Tee is happy to be here again. He loves the food. We are on own, unencumbered. We can smoke in our own room. My mood is changing from despair to hope. All day I was typing away to get my SOS in a bottle. So on the way here we bought a bottle of rum. My SOS is not ready yet.

January 27, 2009

Fight Fear, Fight Distress, Fight Chaos

A message I just got and it was brought to me by the Canadian Military. Come join us.

Once again how ironic. Some of these messages I just don’t get.

This is a nail biter of a story for me. I am trying very hard not to throw up. Not to give in to fear, distress and chaos. And I will guarantee you that the Canadian Military is not going to save us. I jokingly said to Al yesterday, maybe we should join the army. He laughed. “Guess what Lesa, they wouldn’t accept us.” With Al’s record and my mental status it is not an option. We are left with very few options. Or so it seems to me this morning. But after I have a couple of drinks it will all look different to me. So I am sipping on rum and orange aid at 6:08 a.m. and thinking about my SOS to the world.

Al is talking in his sleep. He finally fell asleep and all is well in lala land. I must finish this book. It will be the only thing that will save us. Al has not wavered from this since the beginning. Al says to me “All I know is that this book is important. We are here because of the book. Every situation leads us here.”

We have met some friends along the way. Maybe they will save us for today? Dawyne gave Al a loonie yesterday with a message and his business card. The message was “In case of emergency call me. I may not be happy about it but I will come to your rescue”.  After hearing this I was able to sleep last night.

If you are confused at this point, just imagine how I feel. We are taking this trip on blind faith alone and sometimes I am not such a brave soul dear.

Everywhere I turn I find proof, but the big question I have in my head is will I believe, will others believe? God is sending an SOS to the world and I have got to put my message in a bottle and trust that you will get it. At times it feels like a huge responsibility to me. But what do you do when you have proof? This thought has gone through my brain so many times, but I feel that still not very many people will believe me. And after I met Al, I said I would do anything to ensure that this message got out. And it is a little intimidating to me.

So maybe this is where this chapter needs to end.

A cliff hanger.

To be continued.

So this is where the story begins. It is up to you not me to believe in humanity. I have faith in my higher power. After all I have been given proof over and over again. Lots and lots of it and so have you. Just look around you and at the world that we have created. There is no time for excuses anymore. This is what you have done to your sisters and your brothers. You ignore me. Becau

My pen just ran out. How ironic or not. Guess this is where this message is meant to end?

Because for the first time in my life I feel like giving up and not because of the Illuminati, reptilians or all the evil spirits in the world; these I can fight, but what I can’t fight are those of you who ignore the world.

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