It isn’t easy being me… superman
The Whole truth, nothing but the truth so help me God
11:30 a.m… fell asleep finally around 7:30 a.m. So I am still owed a few more zzzz’s but I must urgently write in my journal and get everything on the table.
Remember this book comes through me from my higher power and they are telling me write Lesa and I write quickly right now. So no practicing our new language today.
I had a difficult day yesterday. Why do these happen after the days of bliss, when I was feeling very strong? Thank you god 4 that. I am not sure how I would have survived if I had been running on empty. So I guess it was a good day 4 everything to have happened after all. Because I held my ground strong. I would or tried not to waiver as little as possible. I must keep up on 100% faith in our project and most importantly myself. If I do not trust myself and my feelings then who will?
Trust… dear Al… I so much, very much want you to trust me on this one. I am writing this one mainly 4 you, because I know you are going through hell right now and because you are a man and are not allowed to show your fear.
This is the way men have been programmed for years and years. They also have been programmed to feel responsible for everything.
Yes, I know I am a real women’s libber and I know now too that one of the primary reasons for everything we do for WOW NOW is somehow? related to the feminine, i.e. Madonna, Mary Magdalene and all those women who some evil spirits have been trying to rid the world of. Especially women who have power. We are their greatest nightmare.
It is difficult for me to admit how much power I have been entrusted with. But I can not tell you a lie and under estimate what my mission… WHAT OUR MISSION IS!!!
Al has been given this power too… we are in it together, 50% /50% plus add another 60% and that is how strong our faith is in this project.
I have been researching our backgrounds and while I don’t have enough proof yet I strongly suspect we are all reincarnations of some powerful souls and we all have a crucial role to play in saving our planet. As more information is divulged to me and once I am absolutely sure of what exactly our role is to be, I will let you know.
I know this story is only to be about us and I am not allowed to write other’s secrets… but I think for you to understand where I am coming from I will use a little discretion and tell you how not too long ago I met a powerful couple, who I feel are in some what of the same dilemma, perhaps even worse than we are?
The devils are making all out attacks on them trying to pull them apart. Because of course the devil is not stupid and realizes the best way to diminish our power is to break us apart.
Because, as I have mentioned, two hearts are stronger than one.
This is why we must deal with the issue once and for all and rid ourselves from this very nasty, cruel, unfair, despicable, sickening, vile, etc., etc. creature that inhabits the brains of so many good, great people on this earth.
And just imagine, what happens when this truly evil spirit gets into the brains of weaker men and women and perhaps, we may understand just what the HELL happened to the HUMAN RACE.
That is how big I think this is… well that is the message I am being told to tell. There is no time for pussy footing around this and if I have to write this until the cows come home for you to believe me, I will not give up. This is my #1 mission… it ties all of the missions together in order for us to move to the next mission. Whatever that one may be and I have a feeling the next one is about to happen. We all must be in perfect agreement of where evil truly lies… and unfortunately that will be in the minds of the many victims who have allowed them selves to be victimized.
We are being attacked. Yesterday was perhaps the time when it was the most apparent to me. Perhaps because I could feel the vibes all day coming from different directions?
However, I do know my higher powers were there all along, to guide me every step of the way and to ensure I would not break down in the face of this evil. Perhaps my higher powers were also giving me practice at staring down this (d) evil.
All I know was that during a couple of episodes yesterday, I was given the message do not back down. Do not back down. (note: here is another little tid bit, as I am finally typing this from my journals, listening to Alex Jones, as Obama is being inaugurated, what song just came on … lol…”but I won’t back down”.. check the time Jan 20 2009, 2:04 EST)
You are right… do not doubt yourself or lose faith in your higher power. This is a crucial period for us and therefore one that will inspire absolute hatred and fear from those who stand to lose the most from our mission.
Boy, I could use buckets of wine right now. Al laughed at me when I told him it was the only thing stopping me from killing him sometimes (which of course would be the last thing on earth I would ever want to happen) but I will tell you it was the only thing that helped me get through our horrible evening yesterday.
In case anyone is nervous about this… don’t be, because in the long run, we won, but I am concerned about the damage that may have been left behind.
Don’t ask 4 forgiveness. You are the one being attacked ask for HELP.
Perhaps Al is right and maybe I should not be so fearful because after all this is what we are trying to teach people and perhaps I am the one that needs to do more praying? Anyway, I will pray and pray that a day like yesterday does not happen again because I do not know if I
“Can take anymore days likes these”
It started off with Dom dropping by unexpectedly and giving us HELL about smoking in OUR apartment. We are paying nearly $2000/month for our home and I strongly feel that it is no one’s business to give us the good old smoking rules once again. How this has been used to divide and conquer us I am very privy too. Yes my Achilles’ heel, one of them, tested out again. The one I have dealt with over and over again though out all my ordeals.
This one has been going on for years. Why did I say sorry to Dom when I knew without a doubt that he was lying when he told me our neighbor was complaining? She had just told me how happy she was to find out we were smokers because she is also a closet one.
So smoking sinners of the world reunite and
Stand up for your rights…
Did I have any choice but to agree with Dom? I just did not feel it was a battle I would have won, that is how far this has come.
Why this issue bothered me so much from the beginning is something I understand now. That nasty old devil was using every trick in the book. I told Al my feelings but the devil struck once again and the next thing I knew was I am making a promise to Al … because the devil knows I can not refuse Al easily, that we will not smoke in our very own home when this is something both Al and I need very much now, with all the stress we are under. We do not need to add the stress of giving this pleasure up. If it was hurting anyone I could understand but this is one of those rules that has gotten so huge that we are no longer comfortable in our own home, not to mention anywhere in the world right now. I don’t think it is coincidental that Smoking Lesa happens to be my nickname.
My higher powers have been giving me this issue to deal with loud and clear… because it of course ties in so much more than smoking. It is about our rights! Once we have all the medical research, I’m sure we are going to find out all kinds of surprises.
So I agreed with Al but in doing so I felt like such a traitor to our mission and was very upset about the situation and could not let it go.
Anyway that was part of the upset with Al.
My 2nd upset was with my brother-in-law Brain, whom the devil decided to bate us with.
Once again, it is about the root of all evil… our money… (whatever is mine is Al’s and vice versa). And this is one other re-occurring theme for me that often gets my goat. Whose business is it but Al and mine what we do with our money? My family has been afflicted with this fear devil over and over again and it has caused me much grief in my life.
Anyway, Brian needs to read this too. We will find the money for our mission. Higher powers have told this to Al over and over and I am not supposed to worry about anything but my art… which includes this journal. This is my job, to write the truth.
And that is what brought that fucking, bleep, bleep, bleep son of a b. out in the open again. Al and I decided to go to bed early. We could feel all the negative vibes around us that were sucking us dry. There was no reason to be tired for me anyway. I had slept until 1 p.m. yesterday. Al, I think was under more duress than me because he has been working like crazy on all our missions and not giving himself much of a break (responsibility men’s disease.)
So we were in bed probably around 10 or so and decided we need some comfort from praying and love making, I’m sure would have been in the cards. Everything was going beautifully. We feel at peace and then I decide to go and get Al and my book, because there were some pages I wanted to read to him.
It seems every time I ask Al to take a look, a close look at something, he gets the dropsey’s. We treat it like a joke but it has been dangerous for our relationship. Before I read 5 sentences Al falls asleep. I get angry and try to wake him up. And Al becomes another person and starts getting angry with me and telling me I am inconsiderate… and so on and so on. And is just horrible to me despite my tears and fears and threatens to leave me and the mission (he even packed a bag last night). But what scared me the most was the he ripped up part of our Art book and he normally treats it like the bible. I know this is not Al.
I had written something,
I may stair u in
I may look at u
I believe in u
That’s very tru
But I will never
Agree with who
U pretend to b
You r not my
The devil tries to make me not hear, to what I have that’s dear…
Just pray to higher powers
Please read this very carefully. This is about the devil… in whatever form he comes in. So after showing Al this, and after praying and praying to my higher powers that Al would understand, I am devastated when all I get from Al most of the wee small hours of the morning are hurtful comments.
Anyway, I did not bend. I think Al finally prayed for the right things and we did not go to bed angry.
Took us until 7:30 a.m. to get some sleep. And now that is where I am going now.
I need a break.
Bi-polar person of the day – Patty Duke
Grateful for - Faith
August 16, 2007
What a difference a Day Makes
Keep smiling… it makes people wonder what you are up to
Well, I feel alive and ready to go get em again. Yesterday was pretty well a complete day of rest and did Al and I need it.
I know why our higher power insists we keep one day for the Sabbath. Just read something very interesting. I always stumble on some things that make me think when I am on the net.
God never meant Sunday… actually Sunday was a good day for church and state to want people honouring their so called holy day. Signatures and business dealings are not valid on Sundays. This basically is blasphemy.
Anyway the message is beware of those using the word of god in vain. So keep your eyes and ears open for all the mistruths you will be hearing in the future.
Now we need to make sure we pick a day a week to rest. I think Al and I should use this day to get out in Mother Nature. We could golf, hike go the island. Explore small towns.
Yes we do need a break occasionally.
IT IS WRITTEN.
I think we lost it the other day because we were tired and allowed that nasty old devil to get into us. The world sure looks like a different place when HE is not around.
Well I’m not really in the mood to journal today. Too many other priorities.
We must get organized for all our guests this week. We are going to be entertaining a lot in our beautiful new home. Thanks to Al. I must start contributing more to our home but I know Al loves to set up home also …
Ok… now I am getting it even more. The last few days were horrible for me because I was also unaware how insipid this evil can be. It comes in all kinds of disguises. All worries are definitely part of fear.
WORRY IS WASTEFUL
I have had my share of waste less worry from so many outside sources and I will no longer let it distract me from our mission.
Though I love my family, I will no longer let them influence my decisions that come god sent.
Anyway history proves my point. I truly hope others will learn from my mistakes. I have often allowed the devil in and most often through kindness. I understand my Toltec dragon sign now; through politeness. What is good is also bad.
Yes this fucking devil thinks he can get my goat. Well I know your name man. Better the d evil you know than the 1 you don’t.
No more Mrs. Nice Gal.
Bi-polar person of the day – curt corbain
Grateful for – the Truth