I am sitting here, missing you very much. But that is ok. I know that by thinking of you and whatever our mission is I will feel ok.
I’m sure you know by now I am confused. But as you said, maybe we are not meant to know everything right now. Even though I may be a sleuth it doesn’t mean I even want to know exactly how it will end.
Anyway, writing this makes me feel better and this one is just for you and for me to burn, if I so please, because there may be some messages that are just meant for me and there are other ones to send out, eventually, and that has been my message so far.
Hey listen to my horo scope for today.
“The celestial firmament is putting you through many trials in a process of preparation. A particular problem has a purpose. The rough road you are on is temporary.”
After I read this I calmed down. But I must admit I was feeling very angry that you are taken away from me because of absolutely mind baffling ignorance of some kind. And I do know everything in the end has its reasons.
That doesn’t mean I am not so angry at this whole fucking system and maybe that is what we are meant to be.
You are allowed to be angry and of course that is something that the powers that think they are allowed to be don’t want us to know. I don’t know how many times I thought today, before I even suspected there would be any upsets:
The meek and the mild will inherit the earth.
Wow… does that sound like a lot of propaganda or what. So, we just let everything happen, don’t judge, etc., maybe we will be docile sheep and let sleeping dogs lie.
By the way Tee is ok. I gave him his ball and assured him that everything is ok and he is acting like his old normal self now and making me smile.
You told me once that when I am going through the worst of times maybe that is the time to pick up my Art. So instead of going crazy, seething with all the anger I am feeling about so many of the truths we have found out, I will write.
Here is a telling story. Tee ripped up the piece of paper with the address of where you are being held. Does this say something? Tee is mad too!
Enough is enough. Time to get angry with all these sheep and if they don’t want to hear that is their karma and no longer will I give a second thought to compassion.
Let go and let God. This will be the second night that we are not together because once again the good get thrown in jail and meanwhile everyone else just hides their heads or feels they have some justice?ifcation. It makes me so angry how sheep just ignore all the facts and bury their heads and go along with all these fucking, yes fuck, fuck, fuck ing rules that absolutely make no common sense and don’t even let me get started on morals.
These “rules” are very dangerous, prejudice, self serving, etc., etc... And really no ones God damn business but your own and your own conscious.
Anyway Tee is acting like a real trooper and so am I. We will not believe that anything bad will happen, because after all there is karma. If anyone wants to just ignore what is right in their faces then karma will follow through. This is true justice. We make our own karma. I could look at this as some horrible experience or a way of experiencing something very beautiful and profound. We have been given some more messages. And this one we have got to do something about.
Helps me get through this, so I will continue to write another one… just to keep me busy so I don’t think about how much I am missing you and am worried that you are feeling worried about us?
Me again. Tee is staring out the window, looking for you. I heard that dogs have no sense of time? I wonder who came up with this one? Guess maybe they were a dog at one time. Ridiculous. How can anyone know what is in someone or some creatures mind? I am sure God would give us this privacy. Yes humans, once again egotistically thinking that they can read minds. And if you can’t, just terrorize them so much, that you make them say what your beliefs are. This is how far we have come. Disgusting.
Right now I am down on the human race. I am embarrassed to be one. Kind of like I felt walking into the Vatican and being catholic.
Anyway, thank God for you and Tee. Just want to be with you.
I know there are many souls on earth that feel the same way we do. I hope.
I am so confused right now. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes when I remember back I can’t believe everything that has happened.
All I know is that I am not happy when I’m not with you. Either is Tee. We are ok. Don’t worry. We just wish you were here. I am trying my best. It makes me feel sick about the whole world and what so many people are going through. I know this is not the way to feel. Maybe there is a message here that I am not ready to hear.
But I will tell you I don’t like this.
I am complaining. There is only one thing I ask, pray for, and that is that you, me and Tee are together.
I know it has only been one night but it’s difficult for me to feel trust in what is going to happen next. I go along with life and think I will give up everything except you and Tee. Everything else will work out along the way.
Maybe I am being a baby, but I have to complain, because this is not fair. I know this. I don’t know if writing this is helping or making me feel worse. All I know is that I am afraid to lay my head down right now. I don’t want to think too much.
I thought today that maybe if I just trusted in my higher power or whatever directs us and really believed in this (which I did) everything would go smoothly. This feels like a rude awakening and I don’t like it. It makes me feel fear.
Right now fear is not what is going to help. There is too much fear around. I have been trying my best to say that I am not suppose to feel fear and I have let it go and then find out you are in jail.
No, I don’t like this. No I don’t want this. This is not helpful . This makes me worry about what will come next.
I want to trust that if we are hopeful, honest, and compassionate that there are other forces that give us right directions. But I can’t fathom how this is helpful. This just makes me feel worried about so many things I don’t want to worry about. Worry is wasteful.
There is one thing I ask for and that is taken away. Now I am in doubt. Especially because I was feeling confident that the only way to go through this was without worry. Everything will be ok… trust… believe… this is not helping.
Is this some kind of test? This is not helping. Of course the future is uncertain. I know this. But when I am feeling confident I say to myself, Al told me not to worry, everything will work out. And now I don’t know where to turn for help?
We have no money in our bank account. Can I bail you out of jail? But right now I don’t feel like prayer is doing anything but getting us deeper into some hole.
I have been trying not to make myself feel hopeless. Trying and most of the time succeeding in saying everything will work out ok. But look at what is going on. Now I’m worried about where all these injustices will lead to. There is one thing I know and that is we certainly can’t count on our justice system.
I’m sitting here thinking maybe I am doing something wrong?
I will tell you I do not feel happy when I don’t have you. And this makes me very discouraged. This does not help.
Tell me what I am supposed to do? All I do is wait for directions, follow them and then get into more trouble. This is not what I want. I have been willing to give up everything I wanted and was ok without and now I am tested. This makes me doubt that anything I do will be effective.
I have lost so many things over and over again. I do not want to go through this anymore.
Are we not supposed to go after our dreams? Am I getting the message wrong? What is the message? Now I am so confused.
If I am doing something wrong I need to know to correct it.
I am trying very hard not to let everything come down around us. This makes me feel like doing nothing because there is nothing I can do. Maybe this is the message. I can not control anything?
I did this because I had faith. I do not want to lose faith. Maybe I will feel differently tomorrow. But right now it is very difficult not to worry and to have faith, to believe that we can make a difference.
How many people feel like this? I know I am stronger than most. Should I just ignore everything and just look after my own?
1:30 p.m. what is the date?
“Every event can be viewed as two sides
Negative – Positive
Ying – Yang
Feminine – Masculine
We are on the verge of a metamorphosis. Christ… everything must change.
Follow the news
Changes are yet to come
They are meant to
Everything is going through change
Humans will step up further
Do not fear
We will all progress to our next development”
Ok what do I want? I want you and Tee and to live a life without strife. I want to have the respect we deserve because we have dared to be rebels because of beliefs of what is right and wrong. Because we have known all along.
I just want my own life, with you and a family, and of course Tee. I try not to think about this too much because I know that we must wait. I have no doubt, when everything is right, God will give us what we really want to have.
Hey, since you have been gone, we have a couple of children, teenagers, actually. Nikki and Katie. Katie wants to live with us. I am kind of confused as to what to do about this. But I am proud to say that these kids love us.
I just want to tell you how much I love you. There will never be another one for me. And I thank god, if I haven’t enough, this is what it truly is all about.
I remember when we met for the first time. I knew it then, so deep inside, even if I didn’t recognize it. I looked in your eyes. I keep on seeing them. This is what keeps me from feeling total despair. I look into your eyes. I see you there. I know you know what I feel.
I guess today isn’t meant to be the one. I am listening to Michael Tsarion, Atlantis, 1,2,3,4 and 5. I am really starting to understand. Oh, how I would like you to be here with me and Tee and we could discuss this.
But we have to raise our consciousness. We are being reincarnated. We can all serve mankind.
I keep on looking at my email, hoping, wishing, praying that someone will set you free. Or at least drive me there!
But I guess right now it isn’t meant to happen. Anyway a lot of good has come out of this. I now understand why you are angry with your family. Me too, I’m angry at mine! It’s very difficult to watch when it is so personal to you.
I was driven to knock on Debbie and Andrew’s door and despite my feelings of antagonism, I felt that it was time to talk about the truth and I just let myself babble. I know I should keep my mouth shut sometimes.
Anyway they sounded supportive, even if there was nothing they knew to do.
I did get some clues. Debbie’s reaction is what is important. She said that maybe some of us can not go down this road, because they are not so brave.
I know now we are part of a chosen group, because we asked for it. I keep telling myself this right now. All I want is some normality for you me and Tee.
Now it is 4 o’clock and no one is there to rescue me, but some are trying. They think they have got to do their jobs first. Well that is what they have been taught.
I am trying so hard not to miss you too much. You have to hear the message I just heard!
We are all Christ
We are physically immortal. The light workers are meant to tell this fact.
I would like to hope and I do pray that someone is looking after you and that we don’t have to spend one other night not together. This is all I want.
I am having a little hissy fit inside again. I just want to be with you. You are the only one I will ever, ever want for all times.
Have no idea what day it is? Have no idea what you are going through. Anyway, it has been the most grueling, distraught period of my life but I think we are making some headway.
I know everything has a reason, and the reasons sometimes don’t make sense and we are left to wonder why. I hope this is a good lesson for me to just have faith in the powers above.
Because as I am analyzing this, I do see there is reason that we are being put under such duress. If I wasn’t so distraught I would never have been able to get a message out that so many are blind to see. No one can appreciate a bleeding, liberal heart. We are looked upon as losers not just people who want to make the world a better place. And who can blame anyone, when all you are is faced with adversity.
Well I think God has given us a plan. A sensible one. Something that can fit into all this crazy mess.
Tee is throwing up right now. We are both so upset not to have you here.
I have to let go of my ego. Wait till you read the email I sent my sisters… I was livid that no one seemed to be helping me.
Anyway Tom came through. I knew I loved this guy for a reason. He also pointed out some very good reasons why people are so ignorant to all the injustices of this world. And now that I have told everyone what is on our minds (well of course not everything) I start to see a plan that may just save us all in the end.
I do know there are always surprises in the end so I will not know until it is written in stone.
Adversity. No one can comprehend this unless they have lived through it. Having had so much adversity in the past five days has given me a greater appreciation towards it. Adversities can also make us much stronger and I can’t help but realize this now. Unless you are faced with your worst nightmare it is very difficult to fight.
See how it’s all making sense in the long run. This is why I keep getting messages about duality and why it is so important for us human beings to realize what this message is intended to relay.
If you have nothing to fight for….
Have run out of cigarettes and Tee needs a walk. Tee survived not having either one of us here for a couple of hours. He is a real trooper. We are not happy… but we are mad… good time to take on the world.
I have never felt so drained in all my life. Tee too. We both are having difficulty with not having you here. We will survive this situation and I think it is making us stronger. Tomorrow I will have to leave him by himself while I try and bail you out again.