Monday, January 3, 2011


February 20, 2009

It’s just past eight a.m. I woke up a couple of hours ago after a good eight hours of sleep. I could barely keep my eyes open past nine last night and decided to snuggle under a big pile of blankets. We are very conscious about keeping the home fires burning to a minimum around here. When you’re poor you hate to see any money go up in smoke or to those gas and hydro thieves. So we have been using these luxuries to a minimum. I can’t wait for spring and some warmth.

We are so poor now that we have to take charity from a Mennonite Church food bank that has put us on their monthly list. Al had a conversation with Kay who manages the food bank. She said she is alarmed at the increase in usage and the decrease in donations. Of course our tax dollars don’t go for the staples of life. Individual donations do. But the government is quick to put restrictions on them. I wonder how much this costs us in tax dollars to police food banks? You must supply the starving with a well balanced meal or you will not be able to operate. What do gooder came up with this? So they are now scrambling for funds.

Honestly, right now a well balanced meal that includes fruit and vegetables is not my main concern.

Al was finally in touch with Jim Bottomley yesterday from social services. Having hit rock bottom, we can’t help but chuckle about his name. It’s now been well over three weeks since Al started the process.

Rowan’s mortgage is due today. And just as expected some unexpected funds are coming our way. When I opened my email I had a message from my parents, who are in Barbados for the winter, saying that they would be in touch with Janet to arrange to get some money to me.

I am trying not to feel angry at Janet’s response saying that she would try and get to the bank sometime this week as she is very busy at work after her vacation. Well it seems that most of my family have recently returned from a Caribbean cruise while Al, Tee and I were nearly living under a bridge in the middle of the winter. Our plight is oblivious to them. I try and not let their detachment upset me too much as it just wastes my energy.

Even writing this makes my heart feel heavy. So I’m not going to think about it and put my energy into what I do have control of. There have been lots of great ideas going around and endless possibilities.

Grateful for: Endless Possibilities

February 21, 2009

It’s nearly noon and I just woke up. We were up until 4:00 a.m. last night, or morning I should say, listening to Rowan and all his tall tales. He also did Reike re adjustments to help alleviate some of the stress that shows on both Al and I. I think I am walking a littler taller this a.m. I knew this would be a good place for us to heal. I’m learning a little about spells and witchcraft. These powers Rowan says can be dangerous when used with dark intent.

It’s very quiet out here. The only sound I hear now is the heating system and the guys moving around the house getting tools and supplies in order. The next project is the entry way and staircase. We cleaned out the dining room and removed everything but the table. Rowan has three Shaker cabinets we are using to display artwork and nick knacks so this room will also get a facelift.

We are planning on eventually using this area as an office and the huge main room will be the dining/living area and also a showroom.

We are all amazed at how much has been done is just a little over two weeks. When we first arrived cleaning up the place looked insurmountable to me but now that we can see some light through the dust we are even considering having a gallery opening in the spring.

The room hasn’t been rented out yet. Cheryl, the witch, has not gotten back to Rowan. Al and I suspect Rowan may have been a little bit too much for her. In the meantime I’ll replace the ad with some updated pictures.

Now that Rowan sees all the potential that this property has and now that he has a couple of hands willing to help he has decided not to put the place up for sale in the spring. This could be a revenue generating property and gives him a few options. There’s also a downstairs apartment that could be cleared out, renovated and rented out.

Grateful for: Potential

February 25, 2009

I now have a huge sturdy desk to work on and supplies at my fingertips. We’re in business. Al and I feel asleep with a sense of accomplishment. Today it will be three weeks since we arrived in Beaverbank. The amount of changes we’ve made makes this feel like home to us. We are making this place as comfortable as possible and also enjoying the nature we are surrounded in.

And we have done everything despite being flat broke. I enjoy creating something out of nothing but whatever materials are at hand. You have to be a lot more creative. It’s inspirational I think. I’ve read that when we are creative we are closer to the Devine. When I do something creative it is a form of meditation for me and makes time stand still and worries vanish. Isn’t this what being in the zone is about?

A few days ago I was feeling very frustrated. It seems to me most of our time is spend trying to come up with some much needed cash. All I have been doing is depending on others, social assistance, my family, the food bank to come to our aid. And there has been one frustration after another. Al missed his long awaited appointment with Jim Bottomly because we had the wrong information and the food bank didn’t return our call and Janet is still oblivious to the urgency of my messages, in more ways than one.

I try not to let my ambiguous feelings about my family frustrate me but they did get the better of me on Monday. “That’s enough, that’s enough “I said to Al,. I’m so sick and tired of being poverty stricken and I’m so sick and tired of the apathy that’s shown, especially from people who say they love you.

I cursed money on Monday.

February 27, 2009

Celebrate good times … come on

The sun is streaming down on Tee in our bedroom. Once again Tee is anxiously awaiting Al’s return and so am I. We can’t wait to know that the celebration is still on. Tomorrow is Rowan’s 54th birthday and we are planning a dinner party. Al wants to prepare his salmon dish that‘s always such a crowd pleaser and I’m planning of baking my first ever cake made from scratch. Can’t wait to have a bottle of wine.

There is one thing I must admit to and that is going without certainly makes the enjoyment of having sublime.

My parents have come through once again and as long as there is no problem with cashing the cheque we are going to celebrate tonight.

I think we have had enough hassles and inconveniences with money that it’s time for our fortune to turn around. During my life, I’ve always been looked after and rarely have gone without so for me to complain about my fate is childish and silly.

I am now looking at everything that has happened as an adventure. Al mentioned to me the other day that it was a miracle that I survived the last few years in tact. I said to him it was a miracle that he stayed with me. He said he wouldn’t have missed it for the world and either would I.

One thing I have learnt during my ordeals is to go with the flow. It’s so much easier then trying to swim against the tide. So here we are in Beaverbank, Nova Scotia with Tee who will celebrate his 2nd birthday next week.

I am also relieved that my legal brief is almost finished and ready to send out. I need some legal help. This I feel should be top priority, but when you are worried about having a roof over your head and eating it’s difficult to concentrate on anything else.

Since we have arrived here Al and I have been able to focus on what needs to be done. I’m feeling stronger and more optimistic about the outcome of our adventures, as I would like to call them. Renovating this place, helping Rowan build a business or two or three is keeping me happily busy.

We’re building a future right now. Who will come along I have no idea, but I’ll tell you one thing I do know for certain, it will not be boring and I’m sure there will be a few more surprises for us along the way.

March 1, 2009

Today I’m doing nothing but what I feel like doing. Sunday, a day of rest, after a late evening. We moved Rowan’s birthday dinner to Saturday, his actual birthday. There were nine of us in total. We had an opportunity to meet some of the people we have heard Rowan talking about.

One of the guests was brought up in Cambellton, N.B., my father’s home town. What a small world or I should say what synchronicity. His parents go to Florida every winter with my Aunt and Uncle.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Blog Archive