Thursday, January 13, 2011

December 1, 2007 JUST THINK ABOUT IT


I have tried to have faith and it hasn't done any good so far.  It will be 9 days now that Al will be locked up for absolutely nothing.  It will follow us everywhere unless something is done about this. I talked to many people today.  The justice system is much worse then I even could imagine.  It is very scary.  I feel very afraid for all those innocent victims caught up in it.   We need to do more. We have got to start working on solutions. 

I am having difficulty looking after T and myself.   I need some tranquilizers or something.  I feel like I can't take any more. I will have a breakdown.  I can not sleep.  I am so sick about everything.  I have been strong but today I am losing it.

Someone has to lie to that fucking system and then we can work things out.  The system is the CRIME.  Everyone should be in an uproar about this.  This is only one area. If we don't fight it we will ALL suffer in the end. I hope people can see the severity.

Someone please watch Zeitgeist  CLICK HERE TO VIEW MOVIE.

I am home. I have tried doing it this way.  I have fought all week long and now another weekend. 

With our system who knows when he will be locked up again.  We have this fear to live with.  He was fucking picked up one night because he was worried about me and outside passed 11pm. Tell me the last time you knew someone this happened to.   I heard too much today about our justice system.  It is so unjust.  Once you do one thing that isn't even wrong then you are dead.

Do you know that 85% of "convicted criminals" plead guilty because the jail system is so scary?  This is more than just about this incident.  

This has to have happened for something and I am praying it is to waken up everybody and help us do something about it.   In whatever way.  We need resources.  We need people to not be afraid and look at the truth.


Please watch this or as previously mentioned go to Google video and check the many, many messages that are warning us now.   It's very important that you know what is going on, if you don't already yet.  This is just one area that needs addressing.   The message at the end is very good.  Everything happens for a reason. We must start banning together and do something.  No matter how small it will help big.   This is the purpose of the web site ...   There is a lot to unfold.  They are many things we can tell you. 

I am trusting we can discuss more tomorrow.  

There are thousands, and thousand of websites trying to get a message across.   I am trying to get a message across.  Had a good night sleep.

If you look through this and look beyond you will see many sides to a story.  Go on Google videos; check out the first 30 ones that are the most popular in education.  Do you want to be the last ones to know???

There is one area in particular I would like you to look at carefully and that is the one that is about Medical Cures they don’t want us to know about.  Do some investigating.  Please.  I don't expect anyone to believe one person’s opinion.

I have met many professionals that told me that we have cures that have been hidden from us because of corporate profit, greed, money (the root of all evil ... if you don't have any you do not have many resources, if you do have some you want to protect it).  

Also check out how we have been able to drive cars by water.  I have heard this for many years.  Something that is not in the best interest of oil and gas companies.  Look at who owns these.   Look at who owns the pharmaceutical companies.  Look at the power we have given up for a few very greedy, psychopathic people.  You can decide whose side you’re on only after you look at the information. You can allow our world to be polluted for the sake of money.   Have a conscious.  Become conscious.  If you are not willing to help we will not give up on this.  This is your decision.  Just THINK ABOUT IT ... LOOK INVESTIGATE.   Look at this realistically.  There are only a few of them, but billions of us that just want to live a happy life.

I have information from all walks of life. 

We want to help.  This is all that Al and I have been consumed with.  We have lots of information.  We have seen lots of possible solutions.  We can not do this on our own.

It easy to turn a blind eye and not look at what we don't want to look at and I am at the point right now that I am saying this is beyond my comprehension?

I know I sound "crazy" ... but all I am beseeching you is to investigate.  I am beseeching to look at this for the sake of your children.  

I can show you details.  I can show proof.  But if you can't open your eyes then I am worried.  We are a good family.   I know this.  We have been brainwashed.  I know this.  I know because I am no different from you.  I just happened to get caught up in the system.

I can tell you all the benefits of someone helping us with our financial problems (which seems to be the biggest crime now a days).   I can show how this property is a very good investment.  I can prove it to you.  I've been working on it all morning and if you don't want to even look at this... and if this is the only way I can get you to help ... by ensuring that your money is not wasted that is what I am doing.  All Al and I want is to live a happy life and to help.

Right now I am consumed with getting Al out of jail.   Look at why he is in there.  Look at all the chaos and pain this has caused.   They will win if we do not ban together. 

Does it sound like I am preaching ... you betcha ... and what is the crime in that????   PLEASE ... PLEASE....


I am sorry if I show you that I am being to lose faith.   This is hell ... I am trying to do the best to make it not be so and all I am thinking is that you are judging (this is all I have seen mostly ... people trying to make sure we are not what I am not sure? taking advantage ... doing something wrong ... and not looking at facts.  This is all I have seen so far.  I can not, not try and tell you how important this is for me, for us, for the world.  I would hate to lose faith in my family.   If family can't help then I am worried about where to turn. 

Dec 2, 2007 6:33 AM, Tessa wrote:

Have been working on it along with others.  First I need to help abolish our "Justice" System.  Seems now a days they just want to lock everyone up.

Morning Tessa...Yawn...just got up..

Tessa, Let me ask you, do you really expect me to believe this shit you write "I'm working on it but first I need some help fucking around with the justice system"? Yawn, I'm going back to bed...want to come along? Look here baby girl. I can appreciate you writing to me in private and I guess sooner or later you'll figure out that your secrets are safe with me. But that aside, I am trying to have a public conversation with you both to help you and to burst your silly "no meds for anybody" bubble publicly. First please do understand that I am doing this with purpose. You just cannot keep going around spouting stuff against these meds which I hate as well as nothing works for me and I've tried it all (med resistant) fuck all... I deserve better than this but unfortunately you get to play the cards you're dealt. That my dear is a real pity.

You must understand Tessa that this is a fragile group of people. I might be as well but I have been doing this stuff for so very long that it has become old hat to me. As has debunking those that take an all knowing position with nothing to back it up. You should really understand that I am not trying to be your enemy. It seems you've pissed off a lot of peep already. Not a good thing. No not for you but anger is a serious trigger for those peeps on the board. You started this shit storm, so you deserve the blame. Now you have to make a choice. Here, I'll be a sweet heart and give you two.

1. Capitulate to common sense and change your over all behaviour. Be a nice sweet kid. It will take some time to change there minds as you have been such a pain in their asses. But I will help you out of that and make a public friend of you and support your position but you as a person with presumably the same or near same illness that we share. I've got no axe to grind. Keep an open mind and use that tongue (I'll kiss you for it! Actually I am a killer smooch) to speak to write the words to heal the fences that you broke, more like people spirits...


2. We keep up the current sword and parry which I will surely win. The outcome of that I doubt I'll get the medal of honour as there is no real honour in this contest. But consider if you keep on this same worn path where you haven't legs to stand upon. I’ll have no choice but to continue to embarrass you with kindness, humor and the facts I have at my command. Now what good is there in that? It will not be much cause for joy with either you or me in that. Is there?

Now please get off this silly horse "I have to wait to somehow hide my name until the justice system rolls away" If you are truly serious about this notion, I'll try to help you out of that mode of thought…These paranoid thoughts are just not true. You're a small fish to anyone that looks (whatever you think they You look just like me...well probably not, as you have..Um well I have great legs and am handsome as hell but I suspect that you have way more good looking stuff than me ;-)

So answer me here and let’s make a plan. Make a good and sound choice. Who knows at the end of the day we may well turn out friends.

Gotta run. Thanks for the write.

Best upon ya,



Well Rick, you are lucky (and I know you will snicker) that I can read behind the lines because I do happen to think perhaps you have some truth here.   Doesn't seem to matter... Anyway... And believe me I am fighting with the UNJUSTICE system. One fight right now that is more important (personally) to me.   When this situation is resolved I will more closely at what you have to say but right now all I am seeing is a lot of injustice to all.   
And forget those come ons ... if that is what you are after look elsewhere.

Yes you still have me laughing Lisa :-)

Why am I lucky?

I'm lucky that you happen to think I know what I'm talking about? Well that's a pretty all about me self centered thought .ya think? Or do you not?

What doesn't seem to matter?

You are fighting the (in) justice system? First you have to find it before you can fight with it.... So powerful we are....What is your situation that it causes you to allow the time to put all the meds and the people down who take them? But cannot...will not make the time to support your broad thoughts of disdain for those that are ill with unfounded skepticism?

As to the "as you would imply: come on's:” it’s just my misguided charm and grace. You may call it a character defect if you are so inclined...But please try not to flatter yourself too much Lesa. I'll remember in the future not to mention my clothes in black...thigh highs, capes, silk trousers or the cheap sunglasses that I wear. A spoof. Maybe...then again maybe not! And yes you still have me grinning a bit.

There you go again with that red "s" on your chest, blue cape and that pursuit of justice for all. Sorry's a good game to talk. But it's not what you do. At least not what you do in the bipolar room. In my opinion, there you attempt to impose your will on people under the name of truth. And that dear Tessa is plainly not true.  It is just your opinion. Be it misguided or not. I believe that you are certainly allowed to have one. But yours is definitely not law...nor is it even supportable. Nor is it true. It is nothing more than false pride and ego babe....whoops there I go being overly familiar again. I think I shall call you Mzzzzz.;-p Old habits die hard

As you mentioned on the board....there are some things that we might agree upon...I believe that's true as well.

However, the fact that you purposely continue to commit yourself...instead you choose to make lame, dissertated (justice department) excuses. No matter your personal opinions of me, there is one thing all know as fact. I am not easily might keep that in mind the next time you write. Now it's time for you to make a decision. I've cordially offered you two of them. It is really quite simple. Chose #1 or choose #2 please shit or get off of the pot.  Thank you Lesa.



Well Rick ... thank you for your honestly ... it is not very often heard, sometimes difficult to digest.   My partner, soul mate or whatever.... a person that is very much like me (there are reasons behind my switching causes for the interim  ... and I am hard pressed to say which one is more needed) has been incarcerated now for 9 days (the frustrations .... the unjusticeness .. the unreasonableness .. anyway.

If you can help I will tell you the details (unjust ... it is a long story)    I suspect that is not your forte and I am searching now for someone who can help.   However it does tie somewhat into the mental health issues.  I have little research on this area other then people I have met who have been victims to both (this we can debate on).  

Through this predicament I am gaining insight once again to our so called "social" systems and I see how one leads to another.    One little small tidbit... 80% (not quantified) of people who plead guilty do so because our jail system is so intimidating and another one is that anyone who works for these social systems can not have a voice ( I have heard the same complaint before)  Anyway ,,,, we get involved in what is most dearest to us. . And right now my first priority is having my partner back.   

We have both witnessed too much not to do anything about it.  The only way I can get through is to think perhaps it is happening for a very good reason. 
I have been in contact with others that are INVOLVED with mental health issues and I am under the assumption are documenting details. 

We all sometimes jump to hasty conclusions... again. But just for a word or two.

You may find me experienced in many things. The secret to me is to ask a good question. No playing games just for fun.  I like helping people that really want help. No time for the rubbish dear Mzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If you a need to catch a second opinion remember I'm not the last word on anything but of legal I happen to know more than I'd like. So, if you decide you'd like to begin a trust and want to share the load, I'll help you if I can. If I find myself will be because I haven't the experience or knowledge. Not because I am unwilling. So... I gotta go. Believe it or not, I am helping an old fart of a Harvard professor to write some stuff and probably clean his house and check his medications. This guy is a real hypochondriac. Looks like a drug store in his house...but you see, even a world traveled, long haired leaping gnome like me can still turn a new trick and have a go with humility. Besides he may accidentally screw up and drop me a word of wisdom. Can never have too much wisdom babe...see there I go again... ;-p...

But you need to make that decision, 1 or 2. And you need to do it publicly. It doesn't have to be a catholic. Bless me father as I have sinned. confession... If you read the public things that I've written to you, you'll see that I've already set your course to make your transition painless...pick the right choice and then go about contributing opinions every where you go. You might just be surprised how I'd help you.

Gotta go...


Well Rick,

I am a very trusting individual and probably naive in many ways.  Good ,I am glad we can talk honestly.   This will help even just to be able to "voice" something that someone is willing to hear.  You like to help people ... good we have this in common.

Anyway I have for some reason or another ended up witnessing many events that have very much led me to think this whole system has been so master minded  to ensure that we are all a bunch of sheep.  Not to mention all the "conspiracy" theories that happen to make sense to me.  Anyway no time to get into that. There are too many things, if you don't mind not having all details, then here goes (I will supply whatever one you would feel pertinent) 

Bear with me it is a long story of many, and I will try and keep it as brief as possible:  There are many, many people, situations that have led me to believe the meds are detrimental.   Might as well put these stories together.  Because one leads to another. 

Family thought that because I quit a job I hated, believed in God and synchronicity, etc. etc. I did not fit the social norm.  They were concerned and brought me unaware to CAMH in Toronto. (not sure where you are from?} I had been drinking at the time due to pressures from family, etc.  

Went along with them ... answered questions ... etc.  Until the male attendant (was alone with him at the time) told me he was going to strip search me and I decided this was enough and left.

Didn't get far when I was talked into going back and then put me on a FORM 1 .. later to find out because I had ran from this institution (now basically I am considered a danger to myself and society)
P.S. I was 44 at the time and had looked after myself and many others I should, since the age of 17.  I was also at this time happy other than for family concerns.

Locked up there for over a week in admittance ... lots of trauma there ... then sent to another building and spent a few weeks there.   To be honest after I got use to it (probably due to all the tranquilizers I was on) it was like a vacation and I met a lot of interesting people.  Met with different phycs.   One who looked into my eyes and said I can tell that you are manic?  Finally got out because I learnt to say what they wanted to hear.  Another long story.  Saying the truth.. i.e synchronicity,  believing these is a purpose in life, personal things that happened to me that I was being honest about, don't ever do that. 

I was not allowed to go home ... even though I was renting an apartment and was to be moving during this period (a lot of turmoil and family taking over my life)

I was very distressed at the beginning but met many people who had various mood disorders and felt a close bond with the patients and heard many "stories". 

Given various medications.   Was happy, fit when I went in.  After 2 weeks gained 18 lbs., feeling very agitated, hostile when I left.  This is very not my personality.

I believed now that I was mentally ill.  Not sure if it was meds or just this thought but I became very depressed for the next 1 1/2 years.  Gained 40 lbs., high blood pressure (never had in my life before).  Tried to get my life together and go along with my plan to go to Barbados and paint on the beach... Too depressed to do anything.  Told I am not allowed to touch alcohol. So gave this up and tried to get by day by day

Was very worried about my future so left a few months later.   Lived from relative to relative.  Sent thousands of resumes out.  Not one response despite 25 years of stellar work experience.   Went into various programs to help with my “illness”.  Learnt some things from talk programs. Switched various medications.  Nothing seemed to lift the dark veil.
Had gained so much weight, very high blood pressure, never had this before.  Mood was still low.  My physc before I had went into Jean Tweeds told me to just go off of the meds all at once.  I knew from research this was a very bad idea.  Still baffled as to why she would have recommended that?

This went on for 1 1/2 years.   I started to have a few drinks.  This made everyone very upset and made me feel like an alcoholic (which is confirmed was not the issue).  Went to an alcohol program in order to find out what my triggers were.   Jean Tweeds ... holistic program ... it was a very good experience.  I met many, many women who had been very abused by the system.  I was the only one there at the time without a substance abuse problem.  They were all on one medication or another.  Usually more.  The most obvious damaging one was Methadone.  Effexor was another.

Met many talented, gifted women there and we decided to ban together and start a web site.   

Started journaling. And realized there was a lot of information that could help people. Gave me a purpose.  Did research about bi polar.  Actually am quite proud if you want to label me that way.  Many of our greatest thinkers, spiritual people have had to deal with these up and downs.   I am still undecided as to why this "imbalance" is so maligned.  Is it the cart before the horse or vs. versa? 

When I left this program my family despite my doctors saying otherwise still thought I had problems.  They did not want to have anything to do with me.  Decided to go back to CAMH and get off the medications slowly and prove to my family that I was ok.

Wow... What happened there was unbelievable.. Many stories...  When I tried to leave I was locked up and put once again on a Form 1.  Many people, many talks, many circumstances I saw that were beyond comprehension.  This will be an interesting topic.  Went so far as starting a petition because I could not believe what I was seeing.  Finally allowed to leave but I had to sign a form to say I was incapable of looking after my own finances.  I had never even had a NSF charge at this point in time.

Al had met me during this time.

We decided to put our experiences, and those of others together and we are working on building a website that is dedicated to artists of any kind, shoot the shit, a place where people can tell their stories and come up with solutions to problems, etc. 

Project became much more comprehensive then we first imagined and have run out of finances.   We have been very happy and fortunate about many things up until this.  The project is going well and we have learnt many, many things through people and research.

In order to make extra cash Al decided to work for a friend of his who is selling pirated DVD's.

1st week that he works at a flee market the place is busted and Al gets arrested.  He has a previous conviction because he was in a stairwell with someone that was busted for marijuana and Al told the cop that he was using his 5th amendment not to talk.  Cop got angry and arrested him.  He has been going through this ordeal for 2 years now.   Sees a parole officer once a week ... etc... Court date after court date.  There is so much bureaucracy and wasted tax dollars.   I find in hard to comprehend any sense in this.  His lawyer says there should be no problem this case is not chargeable ... his parole officer thanks him for being patient.  He does have other minor charges where he has spent jail time.  He is rebellious and got into trouble as a youth. 

Must mention ... one night I was out late and he was worried about me and went out past 10:00 p.m. was picked up because be was out late and thrown in jail for the night because he didn't obey his probation rules. This "crime" was dismissed.  By the way he also is not white.

Gets arrested and it has been a nightmare for me since then.  

I had bailed out his brother whose girlfriend got mad at him and called 911 a few months prior to this.  He lived with us. I saw things in one day at the court house that I could not believe.  Anyway this is another long story.  But 14 out of 17 people in jail with him were there because of these 911 calls?   I have heard many stories where this type of thing gets so convoluted and so damaging ... but these are other stories.  I may have too many causes.

Not being aware of the system, I have gone through one loop hole after another trying to get Al out.  We finally have a date on Wednesday to switch bail from me to Al's mother.  I need to have the papers.  I can't find the papers.  Tomorrow I will see if I possibly can get a copy.  I am discouraged that they will even do this.  Hopefully we can switch bail and I can bail him out on Friday.  

Some of things I can't believe:   went the police station not far from me they do not even have record of him being arrested.
Go to information, go to court, no one knows anything. 
No advice given ... try calling to find out what to do ... one thing after another for the last 9 days ... no one has any information.

When I went to bail him out and we looked at each other. This was not allowed. He was in handcuffs. 

Why do we call someone your worship?  It is the most intimidating experience I have ever had. 

Me, being me started asking questions and found out ... 80% of people say they are guilty just to get over all these hurdles. I mentioned this before, that anyone who works for the systems is not allowed to talk about it. 

I also heard this from CAHM staff. 

It will be two weeks minimum that Al is in jail for working at a flea market, where they sold some pirated DVD's.   He probably would have made $100  ... however the charges are for fraud and he has been frauding some big movie moguls.    I was listening to lawyers and many of them were discussing how many of these cases they had.  This is a new law that came into effect 6 months ago.  This will hang over our heads, possibly give him jail time or if lucky a huge fine we obviously can not afford.  Where is the justice in this? How much tax payer’s dollars are spent locking people away for this.   How many lives are disrupted?  I have done some investigation and it is not pretty.  

Our story is minor compared to what happens to others.  So many injustices that I feel I have a mission to wake up people ... to at least take a look at why this is happening.  Conspiracy.... well it is hard for me to doubt after what I have seen and heard.  Who knows what will happen to him in jail.   The stress this causes is nearly unbearable. 

Is it possible to start some legal proceedings against these types of crimes made by society?   I am planning to see a lawyer tomorrow. 

But first I must get Al out of jail ... I can not believe someone that’s main purpose in life is the help others ... well first me and our puppy T.  It is so unfair so unjust. 

Thanks for listening ... any advice will be well received.   ... I know I have not handled this perfectly  ... I know I have been very distraught ... and emotional and I know that does not help. 

Let me know if you have questions.  These issues need to be looked at ... along with many, many other ones (those I will leave to someone else).  But I would like to help stop all this insanity.

Wow ... even am feeling guilty about being a bleeding heart.  ... Society does that to us to.  

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