February 10, 2009 RELIEF

February 10, 2009



Charity

Last night we slept in our wonder filled new bedroom. I awoke with many dreams and schemes. My creative juices are going once again.

The sun is shining and the room feels clean and fresh. It’s painted all white and the natural color of the woods look beautiful against it. Other than the wood colours we have decorated using Rowan’s late father in laws Nova Scotia seascapes.

I’m itching to get my hands on a paint brush right now. These paintings are very similar to my style. The last time I painted I was up at Carol and Jim’s cottage. It feels like so many years ago now. I guess because it was. I have had very few invitations since. We are people non grata in their lives and my family blames me for this. It’s time I realize the truth. So far everyone I have recounted the facts to, and they don’t even know half of it, think my family should be the first ones I sue. Rowan also said this to me yesterday. They need to realize the damage they have caused in order that it does not happen again. I am trying to wrap my head around this.

Not something I should dwell on right now and I would prefer to think about our dwellings. I’m starting to see this place as an artists retreat. Once cleaned up it would make a fabulous B&B.

First we need to be practical and get on our feet again financially. We are putting a few irons in the fire today. Al is going to check out social assistance to tide us through. Hopefully, we can complete the paper work today. We are down to our last $50. It’s difficult for me to take charity of any kind even though I have paid into this system since I was 15. I do not want to get caught in this trap. I have seen what happens when you are not in control and have to answer to the powers that think they be. It is often a dead end street. Al will also drop his resume off to a number of places in town. The more irons in the fire the better.

I had never worried about money in my life until my family got involved, ironically because they were worried about my money. There is a lesson here that needs to be learnt and perhaps I have to be the one to teach it.

Time for me to get to work. Yesterday we made a lot of progress.

Grateful for:
Good Souls






February 11, 2009

Relief

Waiting for the phone to ring as Al is expecting a call from social assistance. Rowan has a number of errands to attend to in order to refinance his property.

Today the temperature is finally going above zero so I am hoping some of the snow will melt away.

It feels good to get some relief.

It is now 4 o’clock and we haven’t heard from social assistance. I suspect they are very busy with the way the economy is going. Last night on the news we heard that the food banks are running low. Donations are slower and usage is up. Where our tax dollars go does not add up. This money certainly does not go to those who paid in to it. We slave away and then are robbed blind by our government and when the going gets tough for those in need they are treated with disdain by many. Meanwhile the banks are getting handouts. When will people wake up?

Al’s Mom just called. He told her the truth about our predicament. She is praying for us.


February 12, 2009

FOG

The fog has rolled in and it looks grey and bleak out there. But I did find out that fog is a sign that the weather is changing and also melts snow. We have been here for a week now and the amount of information Rowan has given us is astounding. He is a walking encyclopaedia. He tells us he remembers many of his life times. Perhaps this is why he knows so much? Rowan is also the first person I have met who talks openly about these topics which have been hidden by many cultures. I wonder why and I wonder why people are ridiculed for believing the truth? Maybe we are threats to those who know so little?

We are still waiting for the call from Social Assistance. Hoping to get things settled today so we can get on with the many projects that we’ve been planning. Of course finances are always a stale mate to getting a head. This is how our system has been planned. I look forward to a world where this is not the case. It makes no cents to me. Why is it that talent, hard work, dedication and honest efforts are never rewarded? Because it doesn’t pay the current powers that be I suspect. That’s the only reason I can figure out. We are paying those who entrap us in this financial grid lock.

Instead of fighting the system we need to replace it. I’m starting to read this often when searching on the net and that one makes a lot of common sense to me. How complicated our lives have become with these rules, laws, do and do nots. Starting from scratch, in my opinion, will be easier than untangling the web that has been woven.

Also working with something shiny and brand new looks much more appealing to me. Not that we should reinvent every wheel but there is absolutely no doubt that this spinning world can turn more smoothly. It will take a lot of talent, hard work, dedication and an honest effort to make this world our heaven and then we will all be rewarded.

Doesn’t that make un common sense to you?

What to be grateful for: Uncommon Sense